As I was typing this blog there was a storm. The rains came down hard enough that my family paused what they were doing to look out the windows. None of us could have prevented this storm and for the most part we like to remind ourselves the benefits of one. The photo above was taken at a time when the storm systems approaching here were potentially more destructive. There was loss of life in our state that day and many are still cleaning up from the effects of it. So it is with the storms in our lives, we can not prevent them and they are there for a purpose. We need to be women willing to learn from our own trials so that through simple hospitality we can "comfort those who are in any trouble with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God" (2 Corinthians 1:4 NKJV)
Your first step in this type of hospitality is to be a woman who knows the scripture. Recall the verses that were a comfort to you in your past trials and be ready to share them at a proper time. I do not usually quote poets, famous authors, or use the typical spiritual phrases people use when reaching out to others. I believe the best thing to say to someone undergoing a trial is, "I'm sorry." The second thing to say is, "I am praying for you." If you say the second one then be sure to do it. When I tell someone that I am praying for them I make sure that I do so right away. Persistent prayer and being under the preached word were two of the means God used to heal me during my own trials. As Christian women we are to be ready and willing to listen to, mourn with, pray for, and encourage other women in our circles who are in the midst of trials. Opening your home for an hour or two to chat over a cup of tea can be a benefit to a heavy heart. Your home with its normal routine and comfortable atmosphere may provide a welcome change of scenery for someone as they process their trial.
When we have moved and settled into a place, I looked for ways to keep certain rooms presentable and ready to host at a moments notice; our door has always twirled. As I told a friend once, "life comes to our doorstep." Paying particular attention to keeping certain areas clutter free and clean creates a welcoming place for your guests. Having four kids, our house twirls with activity during the day. For example, they can cover that coffee table with army men and game pieces, so we to stick to the rule "put away right away" when they are done playing. This makes it easier for us to be hospitable.
I love my hymnal and my psalter. There were times during certain trials that I found a particular comfort reading words from various hymns. I encourage my friends to do the same who may be having a particularly unexpected or stressful trial.
When I was grieving during a trial I did not always have the best appetite. Sometimes I just needed to make myself eat something to feel hungry. I offer friends food that is simple such as soup or a light snack. Sometimes something sweet helps to cheer a weary friend.
Even my pets can help be a source of comfort to others — provided someone is not allergic to them.
I like having bird feeders in my back yard. Watching the birds come and go while we were going through the financial stress of seminary life helped to slow me down and remind me that our Lord watches over even the sparrow. I would encourage my friends to slow down the pace in their lives, get in the word, pray, and be patient to learn what the Lord is trying to teach them. The same sovereign God that is watching over those little birds is caring for us.
Some trials are temporary and the storm passes soon enough. Others can last for weeks, months or years at a time and this calls for persistent prayer and a steady faith. Some trials are immediate and unexpected followed by a time of grieving. Whatever the form of these trials, if we have a desire to help one another, then we need to remember to listen, pray, and say "I'm sorry." By keeping our kindnesses tender, simple and sincere we show a respect to the person in need. They can cry it out, talk about it, even chat about it with no emotion — whatever suits them best at the time. True friendship takes the time to listen and then endeavors to build trusting relationships by not sharing these moments with others. It is a privilege to be used by the Lord to help someone through a storm in life. The Lord himself promises in his word that one day He himself will wipe away our every tear.
"Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel." -Proverbs 27:9 ESV
