The fruit of fellowship among those who belong to Christ is a sweet blessing to young and old. Our friendships that grow out of our fellowship with one another is a gift. We should be grateful for the faithful friends in our lives. Out of gratitude we look to the Lord for the wisdom we need to build our friendships and fellowship with one another for the glory of God.
Our family recently took a long road trip halfway across the country to visit our seminary and former church circles. We spent a week visiting many people. The hours of travel on the road gave me some time to think on what I have learned about friendship. At the conference, we were reminded by one of the speakers that God's providence in our lives is the story of our faith. The blessings and trials our family has faced in the ministry life has been a testimony to God's grace as He grew our faith in Him.
I really enjoyed seeing friends again face to face. These are people whom I had been praying for this past year and keeping up with online since moving to our new church plant. Some visits were only a matter of minutes before we both had to move on. Sometimes I was blessed with an hour of sweet fellowship over a cup of coffee or tea. Some of us met together as a group so we could all catch up at once. There were those I only could smile and wave at or grab their hand while passing by.
"This week is going by fast," I would sigh to myself, as I gathered my emotions each day. The thought occurred to me that it is only natural I would want more time, fellowship and opportunities with people because we are united in Christ. My heart was missing those who had already gone before us and were now with the Lord. I looked at those who were aging before me and wondered if this could be good-bye because I only visit once a year. My consolation was knowing that one day we will all be gathered together in eternity with the Lord. That is the reality of our fellowship now and the foretaste of what is to come.
When I first arrived in the seminary community I was brokenhearted from a previous trial. We had what I would call a ministry divorce with a place we loved. There were so many years, memories, and faces involved with that situation that only the Lord could heal me. There were lessons to learn from such a trial, one of them being that gossip and slander do not belong in Christian fellowship.
The Bible states that a gossip separates close friends. Those who gossip willingly are friendship breakers. Those who practice slander are those who willingly tear unity apart for the promotion of self. One who belongs to the body of Christ should bring honor to Christ alone and not themselves. Those who desire to build their own mini-kingdom to self will do so at the expense of the body of believers.
We continue to desire reconciliation knowing it would be a testimony to the gospel of grace. The Lord in the meantime transplanted us to the south where we entered the seminary life. We were licking our own wounds only to enter a small struggling church that was seeking its own reconciliation.
We watched this small hurting group flourish. There wasn't a desire for gossip, slander, or self-promotion. We all were under the preached Word, praying for one another and promoting godly fellowship. We built a trust with one another and loved each other in the Lord. While on our trip we visited this church and the tables were overflowing with people in the fellowship hall during the church luncheon. We were so encouraged to be a part of the continued fellowship with one another.
For all of us, friendship is meant to be unifying. It is not for selfish gain. We either are ones who give or ones who take. When any two people selflessly give, it promotes a beneficial relationship. If you are only in it for the taking you will risk withering your friendships.
When your friendship spreads to others it is a sign of a godly heart. 1 Corinthians 13 defines the godly love we should be promoting with one another. Love is not rude, selfish or proud. It is not envious. We should be willing to forgive and to speak well of one another even when someone is not present. We should not be speaking words of flattery for gain of approval with one another, but true words that build one another up in the Lord. Friendship and fellowship flourish when we desire unity in the Lord and obey His commands.
Our children have thrived even amidst the storms in life. He cares for us. Our trials in friendship and ministry life have taught us to look to Him for the grace and mercy He freely gives. We have learned the importance of honesty, serving one another, loving one another, forgiving one another and persevering. We love the church body and enjoy opportunities to reconnect, catch up online or visit face to face. Friendship and fellowship begin in our home and the fruit of it spreads to others.
True fellowship and friendship is a light of God's grace in a darkened world. It is a gift given to you that you return to others in gratitude. Teach your children to love others from a heart that serves the Lord. Teach them to choose friends wisely and how to handle conflicts well.
New friendships blossom each year. We have friends that we have been blessed with for many years. These are the friends that know you best. They are the iron that sharpens iron, the ones that you had to forgive and still love and they have had to forgive you in return, the ones you can advise and be counseled by. Treasure those in your circles like this and pray for your friendship to be honoring to the Lord. There are those relationships that are just budding. It takes time to get to know one another. You wisely do not share everything about yourself to someone all at once. You meet and take the opportunity to find common interests. You ask friendly questions to get to know one another and be sure to ask how they are doing. You build this friendship over time as they gradually open up to you and you the same. Trust is always a factor in friendship and is earned over time.
I am so thankful for the Lord healing my heart and teaching me throughout the years what love, friendship and fellowship really is in the Lord. I close with a verse that is on my refrigerator that I am currently memorizing...
"8 Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. 9 Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. 10 For
“Whoever desires to love life
and see good days,
let him keep his tongue from evil
and his lips from speaking deceit;"
and see good days,
let him keep his tongue from evil
and his lips from speaking deceit;"
