"I wish I could peek through your curtains and see if you all are for real," blushed a confessing young mother and friend. This statement early in our friendship seemed to bubble up out of nowhere and I understood why. We seemed like we had it together but was it the real deal?
Our life had been in a fish bowl due to living and working at a public place, living the life as an elder's family for 12 years and then entering the pastorate life. I was called to marry a man who due to his personality and calling has a spotlight on him where ever he goes. Our early days in college were a challenge for me because I felt like I was in the running for shyest girl on the campus while hanging with a man and his friends who were truly the life of the party.
Our home life is normal. It consists in the everyday tasks and routines that make up a home. We really have nothing to hide. I could answer my friend honestly and say, "Go ahead, what you see is what it is." The ones who could testify to this are the many young friends we have babysat or hosted with our own children or the people who gathered around our table.
Home life, church life and our behavior outside of home should be balanced. It all starts with the home. This is where you learn from your mistakes, work it out, challenge one another, discuss what needs to be discussed and fellowship around your own table. Home is where you learn good habits, take care of each other and build up one another. When one person in the family is struggling we pray for them and either admonish or encourage them. We do not do this online and we do not want to do this in public.
As a pastor's wife I realize that we have life twirling on our phone, on our doorstep, and in our social events. We cannot guard the kids completely from hearing people let it all hang out so to speak. Our children are not in a happy bubble away from the "real world." The real world comes to their home, their table, their times of travel, their holidays, and their times of fellowship. I knew we all needed to communicate when necessary and encourage each other to pray for others. The children know when daddy's phone rings to find something to do and when someone comes for a pastoral visit to find something to do. I as an elder's and pastor's wife tell others that it is like living with the CIA and I do not know what goes on with the work of the session.
When necessary, we as parents need wisdom how to discuss sensitive topics appropriately, honestly and with the use of God's Word. The Lord knows our weaknesses and our need for grace. We build a trust with one another knowing when to speak and when to listen.
Children in the ministry life have opportunities to serve, encourage, and build others up. We mourn for those who mourn and we rejoice with those who rejoice. We pray for our missionary families. We pray for other pastors and their families. We practice the catechism each evening after supper. We hear the scripture read, we share what we are thankful for and pray together. We serve on the Lord's day at our storefront building. Everyone has specific tasks to do morning and evening and we learn the benefit of serving others. This is the outflow of our everyday life at home.
Behind our curtains there are dishes to be washed, toys to be picked up, closets to rearrange, and a to do list to make. There are deadlines, a budget, and the holidays to look forward to together. We are a family and we desire to honor the Lord in our home. By God's grace he is molding each of us in his sanctifying work and glorifying Himself in our roles as father, mother, sister and brother. What we all are are His workmanship, His children and we belong to Christ. If you peek sweet friends that is what you will see...
