To Be Chaste

Titus 2:3-5

³ the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— ⁴ that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, ⁵ to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

The passage above is one I have been combing through word for word as I study Paul's words to older Christian women written under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. All of these words such as discreet, chaste, homemakers, etc., are for the purpose of training and encouraging younger Christian women in how they who belong to Christ ought to be. It is a comfort to know that the Lord does not leave us to our own understanding in a fallen world. He is the good Shepherd and He guides and equips His people to serve Him for His glory. There is a calm and comfort that comes from His Spirit dwelling in us and this results in a greater desire to obey His Word. 

To be chaste - this is twofold in that one can be chaste in refraining from intimacy with another before marriage and being exclusively intimate in marriage. Both are what the Bible teaches us. As Christian women we must desire to keep the marriage bed pure. Our thoughts, words, and behaviors should demonstrate our desire to uphold the vows we take on our wedding day and by God's grace be exclusively our husband's till death do we part. This calls for repentant hearts in our daily marital lives. We should be careful with what we view, read, or discuss when it comes to intimacy. We live in a fallen world that does not encourage purity or exclusiveness in marriage. I would encourage you to take the time to discuss with your spouse how you both can keep the marriage bed pure. Take the time to confess and pray with one another and keep your marriage between the two of you.

To those who are unmarried, simply refraining from acts of intimacy does not mean one's heart is pure. Purity of the heart comes from the grace of God and will manifest itself not just in deed, but also in thought and speech. If you are single, one thing I suggest you do is keep busy by being purposefully busy in godly endeavors. One example of this is to learn to earn what you eat so to speak. Keep in the Word and be under the preached Word. Hold yourself accountable to your time at hand and use it wisely. This will help you establish good personal habits that you will practice in your marriage. Find godly examples of women in a variety of callings to glean from who are putting into practice godly living. Commit to a sound church that preaches the whole counsel of God. This is vital to help hold you accountable and provide the fellowship you seek. Take your desires before the Lord and rest on Him alone. Confess your sins and seek His grace, mercy, and peace. Learn domestic and practical skills now that will help you in your future home. Pray that He will give you the desire to seek that which is pure, lovely, good, and pleasing to Him. Pray for the strength in Him to press on one day at a time knowing that His sovereign plan in your life is for your good and for His glory. By God's grace and His sanctifying work in me, I turned away from a life of a self-centered, ungodly, filthy, lazy downward spiral. It was a life in bondage educated by the world's ways, particularly by the world's entertainment. It became scary and abusive and not at all the fun that the world sells it to be. Do not trade that which God designed for good for friendship with the world. This is either a slow progression or sometimes a fast track to shame, guilt, fear, and hopelessness. Our only hope is in the one who made you, who redeemed you, and who calls you His own. This is the hope found in Christ. This is the sweet grace found in Him. This is where you say "no more" to the ungodly passions that swell in each of our lives. Turn off the sounds and sights of what the world feeds your minds and say no more. Turn to the one who is your Savior.

Recently, in Sunday School I was teaching children on the accounts of those to whom Jesus ministered. Read the gospels and see to whom it is He ministered, to whom He spoke, from whose cup He drank water, who it was that poured the perfume on His feet, and for whom He died. This is where you see the accounts of those who were given freedom from the bondage in which they were, for the healing from the abuse of their past, for freedom from the bitter root that had taken a hold of their hearts, and for cleansing from the pressing, filthy, guilt and shame they woke up with each day. Their Savior is Jesus. The Christ. The Son of God. He knows all things and He loves His sheep.

For me I wanted to be a godly wife and mother. This meant a putting off of the old self and a putting on of the new. How I dressed, how I used my time, how I showed respect to men are just a few things that mattered in my marriage today. God's design for marriage is far more precious, exclusive, personal, and private than the world can understand. Do not find your understanding of intimacy and boundaries of what is evil and what is good from a money making entertainment industry of books, TV, and movies. Find such understanding in the living Word of God today. Press on one thought, one verse, one prayer at a time. God's Spirit will enable you to put to death the deeds of the flesh and live according to His Word. He who called you is faithful and He will surely do it. Understanding the truth found in His Word concerning one flesh will help motivate you to have a proper respect for the covenant of marriage between one man and one woman. The two shall become one. This is a beautiful picture of Christ and His church. 

His grace is sufficient. His mercies are new every morning. He thoroughly cleanses those who are penitent. Though our sins are as scarlet He makes us as white as snow. He clothes us in His own righteousness through faith for His name's sake and is not ashamed to call us brother (sister). He who began a good work in you will see it to completion. Build up one another especially your husband and practice that which is taught concerning a pure Biblical marriage. Know the blessing of His beautiful design. Remember we older women are to teach that which is good that the word of God may not be blasphemed. 

I close with a few verses ...thankful for God's grace...press on sweet ladies press on...Eyes on your Savior Jesus Christ

Titus 2:11-14
¹¹ For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, ¹² training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, ¹³ waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, ¹⁴ who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works.

To Be Discreet

"...the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things - that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed." Titus 2:3-5 (NKJV)

...to be discreet...

In the original Greek the form of this word discreet is only found in 1 Timothy and Titus. We find the form of this word in other ancient writings, for example in the writings of Aristotle. Here in Titus 2 the root is used more than once. Discreet can also be translated as self-control. It is written for both women and men. For the young women it is an adjective which describes her manner as a woman. For men it is in a verb form which means to behave in a self-controlled manner.

God's Word instructs Christian women to be discreet and we are to teach this to the younger women. Being discreet means curbing one's desires and impulses. It is self-controlled and temperate.

A Christian woman who is desiring to be discreet is one who is curbing her desires and impulses. How we dress, how we speak, what we eat, and how we use our free time are just some of the ways a Christian woman testifies that she is seeking to curb her desires and impulses. There are many choices we make each day and we women are to be trained to show self-control.  We are called to serve one another, to seek the good of others, and to follow the example of Christ. When we through His Spirit curb our desires and impulses, we become not just hearers of the Word but doers. We live a life of obedience to the one who fashioned us. We are called to be modest, showing care and honor to our bodies. We desire for our tongue to be tamed. We are a sweet aroma to Him in our prayers, offerings, and daily tasks. We live knowing that we are His sheep. We are like lambs in His bosom and we do not want to stray. We must not adopt even the smallest, tastiest morsel of temptation to worldly ways for little by little and day by day it erodes our lives. Those who desire to be discreet are those who can be trusted. A discreet Christian woman is one who has a gentle and quiet spirit. Gentleness is controlled strength. She will show great wisdom and care to men and women and boys and girls in her circles. This will include the needy, the elderly, the wee ones, the ones who have difficulty communicating or functioning on their own, those who are nearing the end of their days, and the one new to faith. It takes great care and godly wisdom to extend a generous, helpful, willing hand to all of Christ's sheep.

Sadly the trends over the past several decades have not trained young women to be discreet. The trends today in some circles are actually isolating women of all ages (even as young as toddlers) by teaching them to be assertive, sassy, wise in their own eyes, prideful, self-indulgent, and disrespectful to the God given authorities in their circles. Young men are sadly being encouraged to support women who choose to behave like this. These women are encouraged to behave like those with adolescent minds and habits, throwing caution to the wind when it comes to decisions, fed with self-indulgent & fleshly desires, having disrespectful, selfish, and independent wills, with loud bashing mouths that have no filter or pause, which is modeled by other self-willed, proud women and preached by 24/7 worldly entertainment rather than God's Word. This behavior in women young and old is not godly. You need to avoid the advice of such women who encourage you to promote this behavior in your home. Do not listen to their ways even if they lace their lives with a knowledge of Scripture and appear happy and at ease. They are double-minded being tossed to and fro in an attempt at balancing Scripture with the worldly trends around them. Are there those in your circles to whom you look who sound godly on the surface but as you get to know them you see they are loud, proud, and complacent? Complacent means "marked by self satisfaction, especially when accompanied by unawareness of actual dangers, or deficiencies." Ladies, please listen up and take a look at what you yourself watch, read, eat, spend your time and thoughts on, and how you use the 24 hours given to you each day. I must warn you that we all will be held accountable for what we choose to do or not do. Trials and pains are for our sanctification and are under a sovereign hand. Trials and pain are not an excuse to ignore sound teaching and godly living. These teachings in Scripture have a global and eternal perspective. Take pause knowing that where you live, when you live, and what the latest trends place no exceptions on Scripture's instructions. God is a God to a thousand generations of those who keep His commandments. Examine your choices today and ask yourself if they are helping you to be discreet as a Christian woman. If you are discouraged and led astray by others like I have been, please repent and take it all before the one who can sanctify you completely for His glory. Those whom He called will be sanctified in His perfect timing and care. Be that woman who has the courage to say no to the world, the flesh, and the devil and is determined to live life as a Christian woman who desires to be discreet.

Self Controlled and Temperate...

A discreet woman is self-controlled and temperate. She displays godly gentleness, wisdom, pause, thought, and care in her actions and words. She is humble and seeks forgiveness when she has not been self-controlled or temperate. Her words are uplifting; her correction is truthful and loving. She takes great care when admonishing others and does so in love for their good for she herself was admonished and knows the benefit of it. She knows the beauty of godly wisdom. She desires less and less the things of the world and knows her duties whether big or small is all for the Lord. He blesses her hands, he sees how she strives to keep her tongue, he sees her seek counsel where needed and how she is not wise in her own eyes, he sees her taking matters to the throne of grace so that her heart is steadfast and her words are careful for those in her care. She perseveres in her work and is not concerned with self-gratification. She does not want to blaspheme the Word of God by being known as a Christian woman who is careless, proud, stubborn, and unruly. She is known by her quiet demeanor, her quiet strength, her testimony of Christ's work in her life, and her humility. She does not speak with a bitter tongue. She prays for her enemies and places her cares in God's hands. She knows that God sees and hears all things. The purpose of her trials is to refine her life like gold. She is one who does not always need to give an answer. She knows when to just say that she is sorry for a situation someone is going through. She knows when to hold her tongue and let others trip on their own tongue. She wisely gives at least a day to emotional matters so she can process and pray. This will help her not to react in the moment and spill her emotions upon whomever would hear. She is aware that she is accountable. She is grateful that she is accountable to Christ. One day she will see Christ face to face when she finishes the race set before her.

To the Christian young ladies who are reading, take great care, press on, and meditate on the Scriptures. Sit under the preached Word. Know your place and show respect to those around you. Wean yourselves from the habits of the day and cast your cares on the one who made you. Have courage and trust Him in the day to day. Cling to Christ and repent of the ways you have not been discreet. Take this all one step at a time. Pray for godly women in your circles from whom you can learn these things. One day your faith will become sight; until then sweet sisters in Christ press on in humility and strength found only in Jesus. Desire that true beauty that is unfading and found within while striving to be discreet.

To Love Their Children

"...the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things - that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed." Titus 2:3-5 (NKJV)

...to love their children...these four simple words have twirled in my everyday thoughts this past year.

Children are the fruit of the womb, a gift from the Lord, and a blessing of His covenant with His people. They are to be raised in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Sons are described as arrows and daughters as lovely pillars. They are like olive shoots around the table. Happy is the man whose quiver is full of them. On and on the scriptures speak of the blessedness of covenant children. Here women are reminded not only to love them but to carry themselves in a productive, good, discreet, and chaste way that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

The Word of God directs us as Christian women. It should be read, memorized, and cherished in your home. Prayer is the means of grace that we women use to communicate to the one who fashioned us and made us. The one who opened each womb and brought forth His children for His glory. We are not left to our own wisdom and strength when it comes to raising a godly seed. He is the author and perfecter of our faith. He knows our frame and remembers we are dust. It is through His tender patience and all knowing wisdom that Christian women are guided each day in the tasks laid before Him.

When there is a feverish brow, a limited pantry, a worry about your future financial state, a move to a new region, a suffering condition, a painful loss, a misunderstanding friend, a spread of falsehoods, or any other disruption to your attempt to press on you go to the throne of grace. Always take the time to pray to the one who knows your thoughts before you even speak.

Godly love for your children includes a foundation in your home that uses the ordinary means of grace. This is prayer, the sacraments, and the Word of God. Catechize your children and read with and to them the scriptures. Teach them the sweet truths of who God is and what He has done for His people. Speak of His eternal mercies and His providential care.

Be a women who confesses and seeks forgiveness. Be one who loves her husband first and who seeks the support of her elders if there is a need. Be a women who honors the Lord's day and delights in it. Foster a delight that is a pattern for your children. Order your week in a way that looks forward to the day of worship.

Be one who seeks to show hospitality and involve your children. Let them know the benefit of serving others and the unity among believers in the church. Look for the simple ways they can show care whether it is a simple task, a picture, a note, or a small token for those in need of comfort and care. Teach them to address others properly and show respect among the body of believers. Teach them to serve without grumbling and prepare them to use their gifts for God's glory. 

Be one who brings order and care to each child. Discipline and nurture them. Teach each one and model a heart of obedience to the Lord. Patiently order your thoughts and concerns and speak accordingly. Show grace and seek their forgiveness when you need to confess to them your neglect, your impatience, or your inconsistency.

Love your children with the love of God for He first loved us. We are His children and we all will one day see Christ face to face. We who belong to Him have this eternal hope in glory. Till then the task before us of raising children is a temporary blessed one that brings Him glory. Keep your eyes fixed on Christ as you serve the ones given to you in your home each day. Pray that their hearts would be changed, that their eyes would be fixed on Christ, that they would be not only hearers of the Word but doers, that they would be humble stewards and use their gifts for His glory, that they would love the church and those who are a part of it, that they would understand the Lord's sanctifying work in their life, that they be patient and long suffering, and that they would honor their parents that it may go well with them.

To love our children is to love them in the Lord. Press on each day, quiet your hearts before Him, confess your sins, know His grace, and pray for a gentle and quiet spirit that you may be blessed in your calling as a mother. Our hope is in the Lord. Our great Shepherd of the sheep blesses us and equips us to do that which is good. He is our helper and guide and redeemer. He knows our every need. Find that sweet strength in Him and call on Him each day for His love, mercy, and grace as you love each child in your care. May the Lord bless each of you sweet mothers as you raise your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.